One of the toughest things about being Celiac+ is that sometimes people insist on trying to make you food, but you often have to decline these offers. I know that when I’m invited to any kind of event—from a work potluck to a family gathering—I go in prepared to politely decline eating. I bring a plethora of snacks (usually Kind Bars) and/or eat beforehand.
Even though I never want people to feel bad when they don’t have food that I can eat at these kinds of events because I know that it’s hard to accommodate my food sensitivities, they often do. Peter and I have learned a whole lot about how to make food that I can eat (and want to eat), but I don’t expect most people to be able to do this because cooking allergy friendly, or even just gluten free, can be a challenge if you haven’t had to deal with food sensitivities or allergies before.
Most of the time, people tend to feel really bad that I can’t eat anything that they’ve prepared, or they try to figure out what I can eat. I always have to reassure them that I’m good to go and it really won’t be an issue. This is because even if there is a fruit platter or something else that I can miraculously eat, I also have to worry about cross-contamination if there’s something else that I can’t eat.
Whenever I know that I’m going to be in this kind of a situation, I often give the host a heads up that I won’t be eating, and explain the situation. People closer to me tend to know the drill and have something ready for me, or make sure that I take my food before anyone else so that if there is cross-contamination, I can preemptively avoid it. In the case of potluck-type events (which I tend to get invited to pretty frequently), I usually have a small handful of people who want to make me something that I can eat. After a lot of my insisting that they don’t have to, they usually decide not to try (which I tend to appreciate). It’s not that I don’t think they can make some great food, but I know that if I have a reaction to something they’ll feel really bad about it.
The only person who has insisted that he could make something for me is Peter.
A couple of years or so ago we were invited to a potluck where we worked together. I’d had other friends offer to make something that could account for my food sensitivities, and we’d gone through the back-and-forth discussion until they’d realized how hard it would be. I worked hard to make sure that no one felt like they had to accommodate for me, especially because I knew that there was still the chance that I could have a reaction. I’d decided to make some gluten-free cookies for the party, and I’d planned to just stick to those for the whole party. Those cookies turned out a little cement-like, but at least they were gluten free.
But Peter wanted to make something that I could eat: an apple cobbler. I was really, really hesitant because I knew that was no easy task, but the way he’d described the dessert sounded really good. He took down the list of my food sensitivities and went out of his way to make sure he avoided them. After he sent me a couple of pictures of what he was using to make the dessert—from soy free Earth Balance spread, to a gluten free cake mix for the topping, to fresh cut apples—I wasn’t even worried. Peter even put a little sign up beside the cobbler to tell people it was allergy free, which (funnily enough) made people think I was the chef behind it.
When I tried the cobbler, I wound up eating a good amount of it at that potluck. I had no reactions, and it tasted amazing. Even better, I learned about how good gluten free and allergy free food could taste. Ever since then, Peter and I have learned so much more about food together. Obviously we also got a little closer, too. We’ve even hosted our allergy friendly housewarming party—which was some of the best food that either of us has ever eaten.
While most celiacs’ interactions with non-celiacs won’t likely go quite this well, I’m glad that I didn’t close out every opportunity. Sure, cooking with food sensitivities can add some challenges, but they can also be learning experiences.